Am I really willing to die for these kids? I regret the thought immediately. The guilt hangs tight as I turn to face thirteen little souls. Thirteen sets of anxious eyes, watching for a cue. “It’s alright, it’s just a drill.” I’m lying through my teeth as I usher them to the furthest corner, trying not to eye the door or jump at every footfall. My heart beats in my throat while I atone for the sin of a thought. Whisper reassuring words and silently pray. They huddle behind me and I think, I’m sorry I doubted I’d protect you.
Margo Walker is a former kindergarten teacher turned academic.