When my 16-year-old was getting ready to see his friends, a knot developed in my gut. I approached him to rethink his plans. My cousin had just called to request an impromptu visit. “Not fair!” my teen revolted. “I know, but … ” I succumbed to my subconscious Indian conditioning, wired to prioritize family even at the cost of your own inconvenience. “Mamma, can you please inform Khaala I already had plans? I’ll call her as well.” Maybe it’s time we step back and listen to our kids. Maybe this is how we break the cycle, one “no” at a time.
Sanobar Sabah, an Indian Muslim in the Middle East, discovered writing personal essays in her forties. This is all she wants to do now Substack: @sanobarsabah Instagram: @sanobar.sabah X: @sabahtweets