CW: Child in medical crisis
I ran barefoot across the street and yelled, “I’m a pediatrician! It’s going to be okay.” It wasn’t okay. I lost a moment fumbling with the unfamiliar gate, another as I slipped on the wet grass, still another making eye contact with the hysterical neighbor I’d never met and asking her to lay her son down. I wondered if those moments mattered. I performed chest compressions next to a backyard pool and felt ashamed when I thanked God the police arrived before I had to give mouth to mouth. I didn’t want to remember his cold lifeless lips against mine.
Nancy Heavilin, MD, is a pediatrician and writer most recently based in New Jersey. Find Nancy on Instagram @calicolettersandwords.