“I want a real corsage,” Crystal requests. Before prom I meet her parents, the corsage in my sweaty hands. “Why don't you pin it on,” her dad suggests. I've had a crush on Crystal forever, and now here I am, in front of everyone, expected to stab a flower into her dress, millimeters from her—you know. Chest. “Put your fingers behind and pin it on,” he suggests. I can only envision accidentally groping her, moments before inadvertently stabbing her. My reluctance palpable, her dad offers to do it, “I can remember wiping her butt, after all.” Crystal, humiliated, “DAAAAAD!”
Ben Kieran is a stay-at-home parent working to get back into writing. Find Ben on Twitter @fictionfree.