Against the breezeblock heat, a cactus wren flits in slow shutter. I simmer poolside, kiss the sweaty rim of a tall glass. My best magic trick is turning a tantrum into a vacation I can’t afford. In the voluptuous swells of silence, I tangle in plots of leaving him, laying so stiff the palms arch the hour. To no one watching, I am a delusion. The waitress brings another drink, leaves me with pearls in my bikini. I want to take her underwater. But you see, I’m a good woman—instead I scroll the hundred miles between us on Instagram.
Arumandhira Howard (she/her) is a Blasian queer writer and marketer born and raised in Jakarta, Indonesia, now surviving in Los Angeles. arumandhira.com